Mental Health Stories

Borderline [Part 2]

Borderline Personality is mostly completely ignored, given little funding and unlike other mental illnesses is rarely given media attention. So let's talk about it.

Anyway, let’s look at the secondary definition. Which is worse by the way. “Only just acceptable in quality”. Unfortunately, many PD sufferers believe this about themselves and this is perpetuated by a system that tells us our struggles aren’t real. That we are merely seeking attention or failing to regulate ourselves. I have met so many brilliant NHS staff, but I’ve also met many who have the attitude that we don’t deserve or indeed even need help.

We are not deemed as acceptable patients on mental health wards.

Many desperately ill people are refused an admission they may need to save their life because a doctor or nurse saw the diagnosis of personality disorder and immediately dismissed them. Honestly, I’m crying right now because it’s so frustrating. I once took 3 overdoses in the space of a week and each time was dismissed because I was told an admission wouldn’t be helpful.

People with my diagnosis don’t get better apparently. Which is bullshit by the way because for many with time and the correct treatment (I wish it was more available) symptoms are reduced. Anyway, I digress.

Whilst I recognise that for some people admissions are extremely traumatic (and if you’ve read my last post you’ll know they have been for me too) and can be unhelpful at times they also literally save lives. I would be dead without my most recent admission. Absolutely no doubt about it. And if I had been admitted that first admission when I said I couldn’t take life anymore and was actively planning another suicide attempt it would have saved me another two overdoses and consequently the NHS the cost of fixing my liver for the third time in a week.

The cost of personality disorders to the NHS and society is estimated to be a massive 11 billion. It would be more cost effective to provide adequate treatment and stop ignoring such a huge and pervasive issue.

Honestly, I don’t know what else to say. Except educate yourselves. Fight for a better future for everyone. Personality disorders aren’t about attention. FULL STOP. They are about trauma, which is why many are arguing that the illness should instead be named “Complex post-traumatic stress disorder” or CPTSD. Others argue for Emotional Regulation Disorder. Both of these are so much less damaging than Personality Disorder.

These illnesses are the very definition of pain. They are misunderstood and its a tragedy. So please read my blog. Share it, educate others. Not for me, I don’t matter. But your daughter or son does. Your friends. Your family. The generations to come. In a world filled with trauma, this illness (note I don’t say disorder) are sadly becoming more and more common.

We are literally living on the borderline right now and by we, I mean you too. Because we can be the change. We just have to keep shouting out truths and demand that the government makes an effort to change and give mental health and specific personality disorders the funding they so desperately need. And also the name change which would go some way to getting rid of the stigma!

As always let me know what you think. I apologise if this isn’t as clear as it could be. I’m still struggling each day. But I will keep going because I am passionate about mental health awareness and creating the change I want to see in the world. Thank you for reading.

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Liked this? Take a look at these:

Borderline [Part 1]

Walking With The Wolf

Falling Apart and Starting To Mend [Part 1]

The Enemy I Fight Everyday

[Social] Anxiety, Depression and Self-Harm: My Mental Health Story


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