Alt Ed Writes

Your Close Circle


In my previous articles, I have mentioned the importance of those you surround yourself with to your happiness and progression. I believe your relationships with the people around you are second only to the relationship you have with yourself.

There is a saying that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with.

When I moved out of my family home, I had no plans as to where I would stay or how I would support myself. If it had not been for my friend Jack, I would have most likely slept on the streets, but his family welcomed me to stay until I found my feet. I proceeded to move around every two weeks to my friends’ houses. As more people heard about my situation, more people strived to do their best to help. I eventually settled down at my friend Zach’s, with his family and have stayed there for the last 4 or so years.

I am so lucky and grateful, and I know many people who are not so fortunate.

Even though I have gone through a troubled past I can always be grateful for and secure in the knowledge that no matter what happens in my life, high or low, I have a support network to turn to for advice or help and people who will be genuinely happy for me when things go well and to celebrate with.

Foster your relationship with those people for as I know, despite being introverted, they make my day to see and have often kept me from teetering into depression, reminding me always to stay positive and believe in myself. If it weren’t for my friends, I wouldn’t have been given this great opportunity to write or persuaded to see a counsellor or to stop self-destructing and start trying to achieve my potential and start studying harder.

You shouldn’t have to change your personality to attract the type of people you need in your life. If you stay true to yourself, you will attract those who should be in your life to help share the wonders of life.

This is not to mean do not go out to meet new people. Network and try to reach as many new people as possible, as there is always a chance you may meet your “guardian angel”. However, I caution you to choose who you spend the most time with, with care.

According to the book Sapiens, as Homo sapiens, we evolved to become the most intelligent animals on Earth because of our ability to socialise and foster sophisticated relationships with others. Friends are meant to help bring happiness, and if you choose wisely, they will also help with your development.

Good friends are key to your moods and happiness. So be genuine, surround yourself with many but let your personality attract those that are meant to stay in your life.

Reach out to those you value, but never chase people. Everything in life is about balance. Learn to balance giving and taking. Give to those who give back but detract from those who just take. Your relationship with those who only take will merely be stress.

Find people who not only add value to your life in a positive way but also that are loyal and honest to you, for this is key to always improving.

Never take for granted those who show love to you, but never chase those who don’t. You only accept the love you think you deserve.

Written by Freddy Thong (@fredsta96)

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